6th Week of the Omer

WEEK 6 – “YESOD” – BONDING and FOUNDING

During the sixth week of the Omer, we examine and refine the emotional attribute of ‘Yesod’ or bonding. Bonding means connecting; not only for another, but being attached to that other person. Not just a token commitment, but total devotion. It creates a channel between the giver and the receiver. Bonding is eternal. It develops a everlasting union that lives on forever through the perpetual fruit it bears.

Bonding is the foundation of life. It is the emotional spine of the human psyche. Every person needs bonding to flourish and grow. The bonding between mother and child; between husband and wife; between brothers and sisters; between close friends. Bonding is affirmation; it gives one the sense of belonging; that “I matter”, “I am significant and important”. It establishes trust – trust in yourself and trust in others. It instills confidence. Without bonding and nurturing we cannot realize ourselves.

Day 36: “Chesed of Yesod” – Loving-kindness in Bonding
Love is the heart of bonding. You cannot bond without love. Love establishes a reliable base on which bonding can build. If you have a problem bonding, examine how much you love the one (or the experience) with which you wish to bond. Do I try to bond without first fostering a loving attitude? Is my bonding expressing my love as well as the love of Messiah?

Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the bond you have with your child or friend through an act of love.

Day 37: “Gevurah of Yesod” – Discipline of Bonding
Bonding must be done with discretion and careful consideration with whom and with what you bond. One cannot just go ‘head long’ into a bonding experience. Even the healthiest and closest relationships sometimes need ‘time out’. A healthy respect for each individual’s space is very important. Do I overbond? Am I too dependant on the one that I bond with? Is he or she too dependant on me? Do I bond out of desperation? Do I bond with healthy, wholesome people?

Exercise for the day: Review the discipline in your bonding experiences to see if it needs adjustment.

Day 38: “Tiferet of Yesod” - Compassion in Bonding
Bonding needs to be not only loving but also compassionate, feeling your friend’s pain and empathizing with him. Is my bonding unconditional? Am I prepared to bond with people in a compassionate way? Do I withdraw when I am uncomfortable when I am uncomfortable with sensitive situation?

Exercise for the day: Offer help and support in dealing with an ordeal of someone with whom you have bonded.

Day 39: “Netzach of Yesod” – Endurance in Bonding
An essential component of bonding is its endurance; its ability to withstand challenges and setbacks. Without endurance there is no chance to develop a true bond. Am I totally committed to the one with whom I bond? How much will I endure and how ready am I to defend this bond? Is the person I bond with aware of my devotion and commitment to the bond?

Exercise for the day: Demonstrate the endurance level of your bonding by confronting a challenge that is obstructing the bond.

Day 40: “Hod of Yesod” – Humility of Bonding
Humility, like love, is crucial for a healthy bond. Arrogance divides people. Preoccupation with your own desires and needs separates you from others. Humility allows you to appreciate another person and bond with him. Healthy bonding is the union of two distinct people, with independent personalities, who join for a higher purpose than satisfying their own needs. Selfish goals will not result in successful bonding. True humility comes from recognizing and acknowledging YHVH in your life. Am I aware of a third partner – The Holy One, blessed be He – in bonding? And that He gives me the capacity to bond with others despite our distinctions.

Exercise for the day: When praying acknowledge the part that YHVH is in our ability to bond with others.

Day 41: “Yesod in Yesod” – Foundations and Bonding in Bonding
Every person needs and has the capacity to bond successfully with others, with significant undertakings and with meaningful experiences. Do I have difficulty bonding? Is the difficulty in all areas or only in certain ones? Do I bond easily with what I do for a living, but have trouble bonding with people? Or vice versa?

Examine the reasons for not bonding. Is it because I am too critical and find fault in everything as an excuse for not bonding? Am I too locked into my own ways? Is my inability to bond a result of discomfort with vulnerability? Have I been hurt in the past by previous bonding experiences? Has my trust been abused? Is my fear of bonding as a result of deficient bonding I experienced as a child?

To cultivate your capacity to bond, even if you have valid reasons to distrust, you must remember that YHVH gave you your soul that is nurturing and loving and you must learn to recognize the voice from within, which allows you to experience other people’s souls and hearts. Then you can slowly drop your defences when you recognize someone or something that you can really trust. Bonding breeds bonding, when you bond in one area of your life it will help you to bond in others.

Exercise for the day: Begin bonding with a new person or experience you love by committing designated time each day or week to spend together constructively.

Day 42: “Malchut of Yesod” – Nobility in Bonding
Bonding must enhance a person’s sovereignty. It should nurture and strengthen your own dignity and the dignity of the one you bond with. Does my bonding inhibit the expression of my personality and qualities? Does it overwhelm the one I bond with?

Exercise for the day: Emphasize and highlight the strengths of the one with whom you bond.